- Myself, summarized
- Some of my old
- Some of my essays
- Imitations of
NOTE: This page is out-of-date. I made a new homepage in January, 2007 (to replace this page's dead successor). The page you are looking at has information not replicated on the new site. However, this material is now mostly of historical interest.
A note about plagiarism
If you have even the slightest temptation to use Copy-Paste,
try to resist it. It will not hurt me a bit, whereas
it will hurt both your learning, and potentially your reputation.
Teachers have access to anti-plagiarism resources, which would allow them to match "your" work to this site and cause a problem for you. Finally, not a single essay here is very good, and all are likely written in a style different from yours. Plagiarism is often obvious, so don't risk it.
This is not meant to discourage criticism/review of any of these pieces. If you need to quote a passage, go ahead; just don't forget to cite the source.
Thank you for reading and (hopefully) paying attention to this.
Before you dive in
Some of the essays might be draft versions because I could not
find the finals. I will attempt to post new creations to this site
as soon as they are complete, excluding perhaps the worst of my
ramblings. If you find an error or misrepresentation of any sort in
these essays, please report it to me (differences of opinion will
also be noted, although you then risk getting into a discussion with
Here are the links:
|The Earth Address
||A parody of "The Gettysburg Address" by Abraham Lincoln
||A badly written philosophical essay
| Democracy or Hypnopedia
||An essay on the "Brave New World"
||Another essay on the BNW
||A college application essay
||A comparison and contrast essay
||A badly written expository-type essay
||Yet another college essay
| To think or not to think...
||Another philosophical college essay
| Meditation on Meditation 17
||Written in response to John Donne's "Meditation 17"
||An analysis/criticism of Feynman's "Surely you are joking, Mr. Feynman!"
| Of the painful way to wisdom
||Imitation [Francis] Bacon :) (An imitation of "Of Youth and Age")
| On " ... there is no history, only biography."
||Another philosophical essay, somewhat better than "On Awareness"
|A Modest Proposal
||Imitation of Jonathan Swift's "Modest Proposal", complete with a two-line title
| On Being Naked
||An expository/philosophical summary of an in-class discussion
| The Pyramid
||An imitation of Samuel Johnson's "The Pyramids"
| On American Toys
||Yet another expository-type essay, inspired by Roland Barthes' "Toys"
| On the Want of Assiduity
||An imitation of William Hazlitt's "On the Want of Money"; you must read this one if you love incomprehensible high diction
| Progress and Change
||A parody of E.B. White's "Progress and Change"; philosophical/expository.
| The "Worst Award Speech" Award Speech
||The worst award speech I could write. This one is nowhere near William Faulkner's Nobel Prize Award Speech. The intent is too obvious, the tone too tongue-in-cheek. Apart from that, the high diction with wordiness, the redundancy, the excessive parallelism, and the horrible (although correct) sentence structure are all there.